Ham Pancake Shortcakes, 1972

Breakfast takes a tragic turn with this recipe from 1972. The recipe for the stuff between the pancakes calls for a can of spam, some frozen green beans, and an "envelope of a la king sauce mix". Slap a canned peach on top and you're in business.

From: "The Illustrated Library of Family Circle Cooking", 1972

Baked Salmon Mousse with Poulette Sauce, 1972

This is like some crazy archaic precursor to Molecular Gastronomy. I can't decide whether this dish looks totally outdated or super space-age and futuristic.

From: Family Circle Illustrated Library of Cooking, 1972

Easy Perfection Salad, 1967

In this "salad", pimento detritus and canned sauerkraut are magically suspended in lemon jello. This is very reminiscent of a swarm of mosquitos I once saw trapped in amber.

From: Better Homes and Gardens Jiffy Cooking, 1967

Confetti Meatball Supper, 1974

Yikes! Talk about a hot mess. This recipe suggests shaping the rice into a ring mold and spooning the gravied meatballs in the middle "for extra eye appeal", but I am getting extra eye disdain.
PS: In case you were curious, this dish is composed of a can of condensed cheddar cheese soup, 1/4 cup "catsup", a large can of meatballs with gravy, precooked rice and instant minced onion. Apparently this recipe creator was the anti-Alice Waters.

From: Better Homes and Gardens After Work Cookbook, 1974

Decorated Chilled Ham, 1963

Nothing says abundant like a ham platter shaped like a Viking burial barge. The caption for said ham platter reads "Glamour for a few pennies!". I guess in 1963, chilled canned ham was cheap thrills.

From: Better Homes and Gardens Meals with Foreign Flair, 1963

Fillets of Cod with Caper Sauce, 1985

I know it's futile, but I feel compelled to throw the little fellas in the middle a life preserver.

Photo from: Supercookery! 1985

Meat and Vegetable Soup, 1967

This seemingly innocuous picture belies something more unnatural. See recipe below (locovores and slow foodies might want to turn away now):

If I was stuck in a nuclear fallout shelter for 2 years, this would be my go to recipe. At any other time it is an affront to nature.

From: Better Homes and Gardens Jiffy Cooking, 1967